Wild. From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Trail.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Press women in my family recently decided to start our own baby book club. And so, at my mother's recommendation, I picked up Cheryl Strayed's Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Trail. Within minutes, I was transported 5,000+ miles back to my home state, but into depths I never knew existed. Hours later, I was looking through my google calendar to find an 100 day gap for me to begin my solo backpacking trip on the PCT. If you're looking for a little inspiration, I highly recommend it! Here are some of my favorite Wild moments:

"I had diverged, digressed, wandered, and become wild. I didn’t embrace my new name [Strayed] because it defined negative aspects of my circumstances or life, but because even in my darkest days—those very days in which I was naming myself—I saw the power of the darkness. Saw that, in fact, I had strayed and I was a stray and that from the wild places my straying had brought me, I knew things I couldn’t have known before."

"But walking along a path I carved for myself- one I hoped was the PCT- was the opposite of using heroin. The trigger I’d pulled in stepping into the snow made me more alive to my senses than ever. Uncertain as I was as I pushed forward, I felt right in my pushing, as if the effort itself meant something. That perhaps being amidst the undesecrated beauty of the wildnerness meant I too could be undescrated, regardless of what I’d lost or what had been taken from me, regardless of the regrettable things I’d done to others or myself or the regrettable things that had been done to me. Of all the things I’d been skeptical about, I didn’t feel skeptically about this: the wilderness had a clarity that included me."

"It had been so silent in the wake of that commotion, a kind of potent silence that seemed to contain everything. The songs of the birds and the creak of the trees. The dying snow and unseen gurgling water. The glimmering sun. The certain sky. The gun that didn’t have a bullet in its chamber. And the mother. Always the mother. The one who would never come to me."

23. My Fresh Perspective Blog.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

[THE PITCH] I am a world traveler. I like the sound of that, and more importantly, I like the truth in it. I think it implies not only that I have visited many places, but also, I am on a course, a process of discovery; one that football has afforded me. While I am not a negative person, I admit that there is an everyday grind that comes with being a professional athlete. Cycling through highs and lows in a season, the repetition of trainings, the constant struggle to be better, well… it can be exhausting. And when football got rough in June, the task of creating a full, balanced life suddenly felt impossible . . . Like staring in the mirror too long, you began to scrutinize your face and focus on all the flaws! Fortunately, it was at this point that I left Sweden for my summer break.

My memories of London2012 are all but a daze…if it weren’t for the many snapshots taken by me, teammates, and friends I’m not sure I would be able to accurately recount the subtle nuances or even the more obvious details that made up this extraordinary experience. But my Panasonic is more than just a device. It’s a teacher, and after returning to the familiar surroundings of Sweden, I discovered lessons hidden in its science.

I spent 5 weeks in the UK, packing up and leaving every few days as we bounced from town to town, or venue to venue. And since I like to pick up new things and new tools along the way, you can imagine my load by the time I arrived back home in Göteborg. In fact, I departed for the Olympic pre-camp with one small carry on, and I arrived home with 3 additional suitcases…Despite all this, the most important take home item of all did not weigh a single ounce.

At first I did not notice it there, lying in my bag next to my newly collected USA paraphernalia. It is something of which I have not been conscious, and yet, it has existed all along. It is something I came upon accidentally, but have instantly recognized as priceless. Perhaps it holds the key to becoming the person and player I want to be while helping me recover some of the girl I once was. It is perspective and its effect is as magical as photography.

Now picture this: What looks like ‘Small Field/ Big Goals’ the US calls,‘4v4’ and the Swedes call tempospel—or, ‘Paced Game.’ In both Sweden and Great Britain, this drill dominated my training sessions. However, even with mostly the same rules, subtle stipulation changes (like adjusting the aperture of a camera) make 4v4 and tempospel two totally different representations. KGFC plays a lot of short games during which you substitute with a partner on the fly. In June, I often became frustrated by this system of starting and stopping, feeling like I could never find flow. In contrast, the USWNT plays fewer games of longer durations, and as I recognized the drop in quality that comes with playing into fatigue, I immediately began to miss the standard of tempospel. I longed for my tag-team, not only to catch my breath, but more importantly, to be able to zoom out and view the game from an outside perspective, for a moment to exercise my mind…

The US version of 4v4 would be more accurately named 1v1 1v1 1v1 1v1. All of the tactics of small-sided fotboll that had taken me months to digest turned into liabilities during soccer’s 4v4. Team defending by protecting the middle of the field, passing players, and staying organized was replaced by individual moments of brilliance, exceedingly hard work as you stayed with your player, and the emulation of the madness that often occurs inside the penalty area. I need to adjust my shutter speed for this…

Moreover, when the camera was a new technology, it was often described as ‘a mirror with a memory…’ But we know better nowadays; how changing the angle, the lighting, the focus, can make the same object appear completely different. Like a camera can turn images of the day-to-day drudgery into vibrant pop art in a single snap of the shutter, a new perspective changed my outlook on my life, on Sweden, on football. When I arrived home, colors appeared brighter, the air was fresher, the coffee was sweeter. It seems that by stepping back…temporarily stepping away, I am now viewing things through a rose-colored-lens again. I can sense it… and I feel it on the pitch.

With the addition of my two new teammates, Yael Averbuch and Camille Levin, I feel like I am now operating with a panoramic lens. They have helped me see the full scope of my experience here in more than one way. First, their enthusiasm and positivity for this new team and new life brought me back to the place I was in March—bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to take on the world…like going to Disneyland with a child, and seeing everything from his eyes. Additionally, playing with Cami, one of my best friends with whom I played with in college, helps me to see how far I have come.

Taking a break from the team I love, the environment I love, the place I love, was like discovering Instagramm…Flaws? What flaws!? I advise everyone to step back from the “routine” once in a while. The change in perspective will make all the difference!

[Stoppage Time] Last week we played two games. After arriving home on Monday, we played Svenska Cupen Quarterfinals on Tuesday against Kristianstad, who beat us in Damallsvenskan earlier this year. A few of us were playing on nothing but adrenaline, as the Olympics had left our bodies fatigued and minds out of sorts. However, it seemed to be more than enough, as we played a quality game: connecting passes, putting together solid attacks, scoring goals. We won 3-0 and had fun as we propelled ourselves into the Semifinals, to be played on the 29th against Malmö.

After a few trainings altogether as a team and back into a regular schedule, we played again on Saturday in a league game against AIK in Stockholm. Now back in my fotboll flow, I thought my body and mind would feel sharp… but it wasn’t. A week on the turf (after 6 weeks of grass) left me aching and the stylistic switch left my mind spinning. We lost 1-0.

Sometimes it feels like playing on this team is just riding waves. Our team plays with such emotion. When we are winning, suddenly we knock the ball around with brilliance, patience, and confidence as we coast into shore. And when we go down a goal, the wind knocks out our sails and we spiral into an undertow of panic. I try to tread and splash to create a counter-current, but I’ve yet to succeed… still I “just keep swimming!”

Final Scores:

[Off The Post!
Swedish Brilliance. Stuff that’s just NotQuiteRight here in Sweden.

Drying Room= Goodbye drying machines! These drying rooms will have your clothes dry, fresh, and wrinkle free in 15 minutes.

Bathroom= Flash Flood. Basically a Swedish bathroom is a giant wet room. And with no cabinets, don’t ask me how often something falls from its precarious balancing position on the edge of my sink into my toilet.

Tap Water= Straight from the faucet, better than a bottle of Fiji.  

Rain Water= 365 days in a year, inevitable vitamin D deficiency.

Artificial Sweetener= Small but mighty, this tiny little thing has the strength of 10 Splendas.
Sweets= candy, chocolate, fika, pie, treats are EVERYWHERE in this country. The temptation is just too much. 

Fashion= Sweden is an up-and-coming fashion hotbed. The style is edgy and aggressively trend-conscious.
Fashion= But sometimes it's just too much.